Early lessons in riding a bike - Persevereance wins every time!
By Kakie Fitzsimmons, Vice President and founding partner, Farmer’s Hat Productions co-author Bur Bur and Friends book series
I recall when my son had his first bike with training wheels. His initial attempt at using it was on a beautiful day for February in Minnesota.. It took about 20 minutes for him to figure out how to use the pedals.
He was getting very discouraged and frustrated – “OH - I can’t do this!” he would yell. I kept saying calmly, “Yes, you can do this, you can do it, and you just have to keep trying. Do you remember what perseverance means?”
He responded, “Yes, when you keep on keeping on, even when it is hard.” He was gripping the handles and ducking his head down towards them with concentration. Pretty soon he was saying over and over with determination, “I can do it, I can do it, I can do it.” Then it turned louder, “MOMMY! I’m doing it! I CAN, I AM doing this!”
There I was, reveling in the experience, cheering him on, knowing it was HIS moment. If there was ever a time to be fully present in that short time span and experience the joy in it, this was it. I was running behind him as he got it and the only way I can explain it was that my heart was truly smiling along with the ear-to-ear smiles on both of our faces. I had my hands high in the air and I was cheering, “Yaay!! I just KNEW you would do it Isaiah! I am so proud of you – you have perseverance.” To which he proudly said while nodding his head; “Yep, I have perseverance! I did it all myself!” He sure did. He was riding forward from being a preschooler to a boy.
As I reflect back on it, I realize that the experience was a symbol of him coming into his own independence and my growth as a parent in allowing that to happen naturally while celebrating it. Seeing his confidence blossom in those 20 minutes was an absolutely joyful, priceless experience.
I hope this blog offers other moms the opportunity to share their special stories and thoughts on the preschool years… And the balancing act of enjoying their achievements, but having to let go as they develop and grow!
Seed Newsvine
June 25th, 2007 at 1:25 pm
oh I know the feeling…
July 25th, 2007 at 2:22 pm
I remember so well teaching my oldest to ride his bike WITHOUT the training wheels. He tried and tried and fell and cried. But even when he fell, through his tears he would get back up and try again…we would ride together and sometimes I would fall and just laugh hysterically at my foible…moms aren’t supposed to fall!! Oh I was fine and my son ran over as if he was going to pick ME up to put me back on my bike!!
Then came the second sons turn to learn…training wheels off and NO! We came to a screeching halt before we even started pedaling. Hmm…this is different. Okay, so maybe he’s just having a bad day.
Day after day my husband and I took him out and he would just stop, reduced to tears and running inside. No amount of encouragement would get this dear one to move that bike.
We asked what was wrong to which he replied that he was afraid to fall. “We all fall son, you just have to get right back on and try it again and you’ll get it!” We would say what has been said to kids for years…”it’s like the American way, ALL kids ride bikes.”
Or do they?? The neighbors boy tried off and on at the gentle persuasion of his mom until he was 8 and she just decided it wasn’t for him.
“How can a kid not ride a bike? What’s wrong with him mom?” my older son would ask. Even he had tried to get him to ride with no success.
“Come on, bro, if you ride your bike you can fly, then when mom says so you can go visit friends and ride bikes with them. Everyone does it,” he would encourage.
Finally we just decided it wasn’t this dear child’s thing. He became our dancer…absolutely gifted! Bicycle just wasn’t his thing!
Flash forward to today…my dear son was diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome. A neurobiological disorder that can cause a person to be “clumsy” and not have good balance. Wow, that explained a lot! No wondered he feared falling so much. I wish I knew then what I know now. Many kids with Aspergers don’t ride bikes. It is common!!
So, society may look at bike riding to be as American as Apple Pie and Chevrolet, but our family society has chosen to accept this gifted child as equally talented, but in different ways!
Quite an early lesson on riding a bike!! Now we live on a gravel road and I haven’t even attempted to teach the other three kids to ride! It just doesn’t matter anymore!! We play in the yard and in the trampoline! My 2, 3, and 5 year olds play hopscotch and ball in the yard with us…so fun, so free!
Final note…we were clearing out our shed and the old bikes came out. My husband encouraged our now 14 year old Aspie to get on the bike after he (my hubby) had been riding all over the lawn with our 18 year old like little kids!! He did it!!! He didn’t know how to stop and just let the bike go until it ran out of steam, but he didn’t fall and he didn’t get back on…
BUT HE WAS SO PLEASED!!! We all cheered that he chose to try and he did it!!!
Oh how I love to learn from my kids!!