Engaging our kids in conversation. Is it just me? Or do we all feel this way sometimes?
By Kakie Fitzsimmons, Vice President and founding partner, Farmer’s Hat Productions
“How was your day?” I say to my son when I pick him up. “Good.” Then I follow up with a “What did you do or learn about today?” and he replies, ” “Nothing” or “I don’t know” or “I don’t remember” or “I don’t want to talk about it right now”” (the usual responses.) WHAT?? YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME, RIGHT? (I am thinking, I want more conversation than that - DETAILS, BABY, DETAILS!.) Is it just me? Do we all feel this way sometimes?
I have been trying to think of different ways to ask him questions to get his brain thinking about what more to say. Sometimes it isn’t about asking questions but telling him to tell me something. Tell me the funniest thing that happened today. Tell me who was very kind to you. Was there anything that you didn’t like very much about your day?
These thoughts or questions don’t always take place when I pick him up. Sometimes it happens when we are talking at night before bed. When he opens up and shares his thoughts and feelings, the connection is meaningful. Once in a while, I give a response that makes me the smartest person in the world. What is important to me as his mother, is that our relationship is a safe platform where he can come to me and talk about anything. I am his mom and will always be in his corner.
When I was younger my mom used to ask, “What did you do for your mind today?” “What did you do for your soul?” “What did you do for your body?”
Assignment:
1. Tell us in the comments section how you get your kids engaged in a conversation about what is happening during the day when you aren’t around.
2. Tell us if reading this made you think about it, what might you do differently as a result?
We all want to know we are making a difference in this world. My hope is that somehow, in some way, getting you to think about this will make a difference to you.
Seed Newsvine
September 30th, 2007 at 1:32 pm
I have learned not to ask “how was your day?” Instead, I ask my two kids, “anything interesting or unusual happen today?” That will get them to open up more. I will ask them point blank questions such as “what did you play at recess” or “what did you talk about in science” to find things out. We also play a game at supper sometimes where you tell 2 truths and 1 untruth and the rest of the family has to guess which is false. That is a great ice breaker and gets us all talking about our day.
Yes, this has gotten me thinking about how I can always be a safe platform to my child and how I can react differently to what is being said. Thanks!