Posted and written by Kakie Fitzsimmons I recently had a discussion with a woman who was concerned about her young son. He was trying to make friends with kids in the neighborhood and it wasn't working out well for him. As parents, most of us have experienced this in some format or another and it got me thinking this might be a good blog topic. How do we teach kids to make new friends? How do we give them the social skills to step outside of their comfort zone to join in with other children? The answers to these questions are probably all over the board and figuring out where to start could be a challenge.

It was interesting, learning to teach my little guy how to reach out to ask others to play/join in. One memory that really sticks out is from when he was 4 years old. It was the first time he went across the cul-de-sac to a friend's house to see if she could play.

I was sitting in the garage reading a book and encouraged him to go knock on the door. He gestured me to follow him; "Mom, Come wif me" to which I responded, "No, you need to do this yourself. You are a big boy. It is okay, go ahead." Every 5-6 steps towards that door he would stop, turn around and look to me for direction and guidance, working through the uncertainty. Each time I would motion for him to keep going. About ½ way there he put his hand up by his mouth like kids do when they tell a secret and said in a loud whisper; "Mom, I wan you ta come wif me." Again I encouraged him to continue.

When he finally got to the doorstep, he turned around to look at me and I nodded. He rang the doorbell and the little girl's mom answered the door. She told Isaiah his friend would be out in 10 minutes. He turned around and came running/bouncing to me with this wide eyed beaming, proud smile, clapping his hands, yelling, "Wooo Hoooo! I did it mom!! She's coming out in 10 minutes!!!" Then he made that gesture kids make with their fists when they say, "yessssssssss."

Ironically, watching him approach those front steps ring that doorbell was literally new opening into the next chapter of our lives. My role was in planting seeds of faith and courage that would give him a foundation. There is a saying about challenges life presents us with. "The only way out is through." Perseverance. Keep on keeping on even when it is hard. Some people choose to do nothing because its easier or they don't know any other way. I've learned when I face those challenges and deal with them honestly, it results in growth, spiritually, emotionally etc. We just have to keep reminding ourselves of that so we don't get stuck. We also need to surround ourselves with people who care enough to help keep us on track.

Please share what has worked for you when it comes to teaching kids how to make new friends. Seed Newsvine Other books from the award winning Bur Bur and Friend's children's book series:

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 27th, 2009 at 9:22 pm and is filed under Community Board. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.