For Local Blog in MinneapolisHow to Support the Siblings of a Special Needs Child
January 23rd, 2012
Just when your world shifts with a life-changing diagnosis for your child, you may also be told to get support as a couple – because according to some stats, the divorce rate for couples with special needs kids hovers around 80 percent.
The makers of Bur Bur and Friends multicultural education materials not only support diversity in the classroom but also recognize the added challenges when diversity is present within your home – between siblings.
The circle of friends within the Bur Bur and Friends multicultural children book series includes children with physical health challenges. Recognizing the many unique issues families with a special needs child face, Bur Bur’s popular childrens book series provides affirmations for kids, ways to make your child feel special and support for parents.
Because caring for a child with special needs requires so much added time and attention, other children in the family can struggle with:
- Feeling as though their needs have a lower priority
- Jealousy towards their sibling with special needs
- Intentionally creating problems to get more attention
- Worry and concern about their sibling’s health, pain, future, etc.
- Becoming overly responsible and compliant to reduce their parent’s burden
- Embarrassment or resentment of their sibling
- Feeling guilty about their feelings or their own good health, abilities and opportunities
Here are a few tips to help support a sibling of a child with special needs:
- Although family-time all together is important, try to give each child a regularly scheduled special time alone with each parent individually and when possible both parents together. Recognizing that it can be hard to find this time, don’t feel that you always have to find a whole day to do some splashy outing. Even asking one of your children to run errands with you and then stopping for ice cream or staggering bedtimes so that you can snuggle with each child, read together and chat can be very reassuring.
- Allow every child in your household to have a special place for their important personal things where they will be safe and off limits for others.
- Parents should initiate hard topics with siblings and address issues related to how strangers or friends might react to their sibling. Demonstrating possible responses, conversations and explanations as well as role playing may be really helpful and supportive.
- Have your special needs child do as much as they can for themselves and any other chores they are able to do. It’s good if everyone in the home has some responsibility. This helps when things can seem unfair to siblings and can avoid feelings of being overly responsible. Whenever possible, the child with special needs should be subject to the same rules as others in the household.
Your friends at Bur Bur and Friends multicultural children books want to encourage parents of children with special needs …
It’s been found that siblings of special needs children tend to demonstrate better problem-solving skills, the ability to be flexible, greater sensitivity to the needs of others, deeper insight and understanding, better tolerance of differences in others and immense compassion and patience – tremendous attributes that reflect a depth of character that will serve them well throughout their lifetime.
